The Hetalian Belt
by Pozagee
Summary: I got a belt at Hot Topic. These characters were next to each other. Canada/Greece/Ukraine/Poland/Switzerland/Finland/ Sealand/Hungary/America/France/Lichtenstein/Austri a /Spain/Estonia/Lithuania/Latvia/England/China/Russ ia/Italy/Belarus/Romano/Germany/Japan/Canada Thus, this crack fic was born :) COMPLETE
1. CanadaGreece

**_Author's Note: Ok. This is a mind-numbingly stupid fanfic filled with crack, crack, and more crack. All because I got this Hetalia belt at Hot Topic, and they had random people next to each other. So I paired everyone together, and BAM! this piece of shit was formed. So enjoy, and bask in the stupid stupidness. _**

**_Pairings:_**

**_Canada/Greece/Ukraine/Poland/Switzerland/Finland/S ea-land/Hungary/America/France/Lichtenstein/Austri a/Sp-ain/Estonia/Lithuania/Latvia/England/China/Ru ssia/Ital-y/Belarus/Romano/Germany/Japan/Canada_**

Canada was sitting forgotten at the World Conference as normal, (hugging Kishendosbendumbledoraexplora, his bear), when a sleepy looking country sat down beside him. Canada recognized the man as Greece.

"Hi Greece," Canada said quietly.

"Hello. Who are you again?" the brunette asked blearily.

"I am Canada."

"Oh." Cue random topic change. "Do you like cats?"

"I...I suppose I do..." Canada replied.

Greece suddenly looked more awake. "You're not a dog person right? 'cause I chop up dog people and feed them to my cats."

Canada wisely shook his head 'no'.

Greece smiled, leaning back tiredly. "That's nice. Are there cats where you live?"

"I...well, there are domestic ones...we also have Canadian Lynxes."

"Oh. Are Canadian Lynxes fluffy?"

Canada nodded solumnly. "Yes. They are very fluffy."

"Good, good. Do they have little whiskers and little paws?"

"Yes they do."

"Very good. Can I invade your vital regions tonight so I may see your kitties?" Greece asked, smiling slightly.

"Of course!" Canada answered, smiling as well.

_**A/N Yandere!Greece. Yep. I went there. I'm sorry for this fic, btw. **_

_**Oh, and the reason Kumajiro's name is so long: Authors jack up his name so bad in fics, that I decided to extend on it. :)**_

_**Please review!**_


	2. GreeceUkraine

Ukraine was bouncing down the hallway heading towards the meeting room, when the sleepy Nation known as Greece came up to her.

"Hello, Ukraine," he spoke.

"Oh! Hello Greece! How have you been?"

"I have been fine. And you?"

"Well enough," she murmered.

"Do you have cats in your shirt?"

Ukraine blanched, glancing downward. "Not that I know of..."

"Huh. I just thought so, since your shirt was making purring noises."

Ukraine blushed. "Well...um..."

"Also, you have rather large bumps there. I just assumed they were cats."

"Oh...I suppose I can see how you'd think that..." she murmured.

"Oh. So they're not cats?"

"No..."

Greece sighed sadly. "I like cats. They're soft and squishy."

Ukraine brightened slightly. "Well, my boobs are soft and squishy!"

Greece smiled. "Really?"

Ukraine nodded. "Do you want to feel them?"

Greece nodded. And he did.

**_A/N I feel the overwhelming need to appoligize at the end of every chapter. So I'm sorry. _**

**_Please review!_**


	3. UkrainePoland

Poland was adjusting his skirt and shirt outside the Conference Room, when he saw—or rather heard—someone bounce past.

Poland's eyes widened at Ukraine's large breasts. Not that he hadn't ever noticed them before, it was just...THEY WERE SO BIG!

"Hey! Ukraine!" he shouted towards the other Nation.

Ukraine paused in her walking. "Da, Poland?"

"I was just like wondering...how did you manage to get your boobs soooo big and stuff. Like seriously, they are HUUUUUGE!"

Ukraine bristled. "I suppose they just grew that way," she said coldly.

Poland waved his hand flippantly. "No, I like, didn't mean offense by that. Ya' see, I don't have boobs..." Ukraine nodded. "Which like totally sucks (even though I am a guy). You see, all the gorge shirts are like totally for girls with boobs. So, I sorta need boobs so the shirts fit right (cause if they don't, that'd just be like scandalous). You know?"

Ukraine nodded sympathetically. "Most shirts are too small for my big knockers."

Poland tilted his head curiously. "So you like didn't have like implants or anything?"

Ukraine shook her head. "No...but there's a guy near my place who could help you. Do you want to come over?"

"Totes!"

_**A/N Poland is...well, he's Poland. He's an over-the-top, gay, drag queen. How else would I pair him with Ukraine?!**_

_**...Sorry. Again. **_

_**Anyway, please review!**_


	4. PolandSwitzerland

Poland set his elbows on the Conference table, smiling dreamily at the man across from him. Honestly, the man was so perfect...

"Poland! What the hell are you staring at?!" Switzerland exclaimed, finally fed-up with the sparkly-eyed gaze he had been receiving. However, instead of the flamboyant boy looking away, Switzerland received less than the desired effect.

Poland climbed up on the table, clambering across it to lay in front of the tough Nation. Switzerland yelped out a manly scream, before Poland ran his fingers through Switzerland's hair.

"Your hair is like, sooooo gorge! It's like totally unfair!" Poland fangirl-ed. "I mean, look at my crap! My stupid straighteners like totally fried my hair! Now its all like straight and junk, with no volume!"

Switzerland touched his own, luxurious hair. "Do you want to know my secret, you creepy boy?" Poland nodded ecstatically.

"L'oreal Paris."

Poland gasped, as a hand fluttered to his heart. "Of course! I should have totally, like known!"

Switzerland nodded, before looking like he was going to speak. Poland urged him on. "Do you want to come over to my place so I can help you with your hair?"

Poland smiled, hopping onto Switzerland's lap. "And we can like shower together and stuff!"

"Yay!"

_**A/N I am so sorry for this. You wouldn't believe how hard it was to come up with something for this pairing. Bloody hell...**_

_**Anyway, please review!**_


	5. SwitzerlandFinland

Finland rubbed a hand over his eyes, trying to wipe away the large tears that were swimming in them. Presently, he was sitting in the park across from the building at which the World Conference was occurring. He bowed his head lower, as he heard someone approach.

"Hey, uh, Finland? Is something, sort of wrong?" the voice of Switzerland inquired. Finland looked up to see the man awkwardly shifting from foot to foot.

Finland thought about not telling the neutral Nation, but his emotions got the best of him.

"Y-yes! I a-accidentally dropped m-my beret in the mud, and now it's s-soiled!" At his admission, Finland started sobbing.

Switzerland continued shifting awkwardly, before sitting down next to the Finnish man, and swinging a stiff arm over his shoulders. "It's alright, Finland. Don't worry, everything will be alright...Hey, you can wear my beret today."

Finland looked up, and for the first time noticed how similar their berets were! "R-really? Then wouldn't you be without one?"

Switzerland shook his head, pulling another beret out of his pocket. "I have a spare."

Finland took Switzerland's beret, smiling. "I'm invading your beret regions."

"That you are, Finland."

**_A/N Hehe. I'm going to invade your beret regions. XD_**

**_Anyway, please review!_**


	6. FinlandSealand

Sealand was pouting. Not only had that big meanie England kicked him out of the World Conference, but apparently Santa wasn't real! Life sucked.

"Hey, Sealand? What's wrong?" came the kind voice of Iceland.

"Ahoy. Apparently Santa isn't real."

Finland smiled gently, sitting down on the floor beside the other boy. "Wanna bet?"

Sealand glanced over, gasping as Finland transformed to Santa before his eyes.

"Santa! Santa! Do you have a present for me?"

"Only if you'll be my ho ho ho!"

"Ok, you dirty Santa you!"

**_A/N I hate my life. _**

**_Let's just ignore this horrible and disgusting chapter. _**

**_Yeah..._**

**_So sorry. _**

**_Please review...maybe..._**


	7. SealandHungary

Sealand sighed unhappily. He had just spent a weekend at his older brother's house; ergo, he was hungry.

Speaking of which: "Ahoy Miss Hungary."

"Oh, hello Sealand! I trust you have been well?"

"Not exactly," Sealand sighed sadly. "I just got back from England. I'm hungry."

"No, I am silly." Sealand and her laughed, before she became serious. "Do you want some food from my house?"

"Sure!"

**_A/N It's official. Sealand is the hardest character to pair people with. :P _**

**_Anyway, please review!_**


	8. HungaryAmerica

America was hungry; he was always hungry, though more so this time. You see, he and the rest of the Nations had just got released from the World Conference Meeting for lunch. Of course, he was searching for the nearest McDonald's.

Finally, he feasted his eyes upon the beautiful golden arches. He was about to enter, when a voice called to him.

"Oh! America! Wait for me!" It was Hungary.

"Hungary, what are ya doin' here?" he asked, confusedly. He thought Hungary had decided to go with Litchenstein, Taiwan, Austria, and the other girls.

"I'm hungry!" Both Nations laughed. "But seriously, no places around here have enough food."

America laughed. "Betcha can't handle Micky D's!"

Hungary crossed her arms across her chest. "I bet I can."

They entered McDonald's and ordered the same lunch: A Big Mac, fifty-piece chicken nugget meal, super-sized fries, a super-sized Mountain Dew, and a salad (to make it healthy).

...One Hour Later...

A rather bloated Hungary and America were sitting across from each other. Hungary was smiling triumphantly, licking her fingers. America was gaping at her, before a wide smile spread across his face.

"Any bi-otch that can out-eat me deserves a second look. What'd'ya say?"

"Friday at Five Guys. You're on." Hungary smirked.

**_A/N Hungary is such a tom-boy XD_**

**_Anyway, please review!_**


	9. AmericaFrance

America looked up at the colorful sign, trying to see what movie was playing.

"Julie and Julia? Sounds like a chick flick..." he muttered. He considered just going back to his hotel room—where he was to stay during the week of the World Conference—but he instead decided to give it a try.

He was trying to find the perfect seat (extra large, extra buttery popcorn under his arm) when he saw someone he recognized.

"Hey! France! What's up, bro?"

France looked up, smiling. "Bonjour, mon chere! Are you here to see this lovely movie?"

"Duh! What is it 'bout anyway?" America asked.

"It's about an American woman named Julie cooking her way through Julia Child's cookbook."

"Yep, chick flick. But why are you here? This is an American movie."

"True," France said, "but Julia's cookbook is French cuisine."

"Oh," America murmured, as the movie started.

...One Movie Later...

America exited the theater with France.

"Ok, fine. It was alright, but it made me hungry."

"Ah. Do you want to come over to my place? I know how to make Julia's Beef Bourguignon," France wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"I like the way you think, France-y pants."

**_A/N Some of these parings..._**

**_Julie and Julia is actually a really good movie XD _**

**_Please review!_**


	10. FranceLichtenstein

France looked up from his leather-bound copy of Les Miserables, surprised by the light knocking on his door; he hadn't been expecting anyone.

When he opened the door, he was shocked to see Lichtenstein standing there, a wide grin on her face, and a beret on her head.

"Hello Mr. France! I am here to visit Paris!" she exclaimed happily.

France smiled warmly, taking her arm and leading her around the city, to the best sites.

"That is Notre Dame, and over there is the Eiffel Tower, of course..." he said warmly, smiling at the younger girl.

"It's so pretty! Big brother's mountains hardly compare!" Lichtenstein said happily, hugging France's arm, causing him to blush slightly.

"Unfortunately," she continued, "I have to go back to Big Brother's house pretty soon..."

"You can visit anytime you want. Next time, I will take you up to Montmarte; the views from there are magnificent!" France smiled warmly.

"That would be great! Thank you for the wonderful time!" Lichtenstein thanked, before kissing France's cheek.

**_A/N Aww, so sweet! I love France, he's just so sweet, and same with Lichtenstein!_**

**_Anyway, please review!_**


	11. LichtensteinAustria

Austria was playing Chopin's Nocturne, when he heard the doorbell ring. He stood and slowly walked to the door, and swinging it open.

"Mr. Austria! I am happy to see that you are well!" Lichtenstein smiled, her fingers clinging to the picnic basket in her hands. "I brought some sweets."

Austria—always a sucker for sweets—eagerly welcomed her in.

After the duo had settled down to enjoy Lichtenstein's red velvet cake, Austria looked at her suspiciously.

"Why are you here, Lichtenstein?"

She blushed. "W-well you see, there aren't many musicians from my country, and I was wondering...could you teach me how to play piano like you?"

Austria smirked, and stuck his chest out in a rather pompous fashion. "Well, I don't know if you will EVER be as good as myself, but I can try."

...Three Hours Later...

Austria slammed his face onto the keyboard. "In three hours, you learned how to play chopsticks?"

Lichtenstein smiled. "And 'In the Jungle'!"

Austria pinched his nose. Honestly, that fool Liberace had more talent than the little girl...but her earnest eyes and kind nature made Austria's cold exterior melt.

"Well...you are doing a fine job. How about I help teach you a more complicated piece, that will help you with your finger positions?" (Honestly, she loved laying her fingers flat, instead of rounded—oh the horror!)

Lichtenstein nodded in acceptance, before kissing the man's cheek. "Thank you Mr. Austria for helping me!"

The older man blushed, before kissing her forehead. "Of...of course. Now, this song is titled 'Dedicated Most Humbly to the Right Hand Little Finger'..."

_**A/N I love Liberace. I am very entertained by him. But Austria, being as he is, probably didn't like him. :(**_

_**And "Dedicated Most Humbly to the Right Hand Little Finger" is actually a song. XD I played it a few years back, and it is fun and good for finger techniques. **_

_**Its hard to make Lichtenstein funny...she's just so sweet! XD**_

_**Anyway, please review!**_


	12. AustriaSpain

Spain had his ever-present smile on his face, as he walked down the spick-and-span halls of Austria's house.

Suddenly, gentle music started weaving around the air, leaving it heavy and tired-feeling.

Spain sighed. Everyday, it was always Beethoven, Bach, Chopin, Tchaikovsky, etc. etc. etc. Though the music was nice and all, everything just seemed to lack...life.

Suddenly, Spain had an idea.

...One Matador-Outfit and Guitar Later...

Spain smiled boldly, as he skipped into Austria's prized music room.

"Oh Austria! Honey!" Spain cooed, causing the brunette to falter slightly, his sweaty fingers sliding off the keys.

"You interrupted me. I was in the middle of a very serious discussion with Scarlatti-what the Dickens are you wearing?!"

Spain smiled, before twirling with great flare. His bright red cape settled around his shoulders, along with a vibrantly colored guitar.

"You like? Oh good, because it makes me feel like a sexy sex-demon with a massive crotch-monster!" Austria's eyes looked downwards.

"Anyway, I decided to serenade you!"

Austria crossed his arms. "Fine. Let's hear it."

"LAAAAAAAAA...COO-COO-ROCHA, LA COO-COO-ROCHA! YA NO PUEDE CAMINAR!" Spain sang. "LA COO-COO-ROCHA LA COO-COO-ROCH-ah!" Spain yelped as he was tackled to the ground, by a frustrated Austrian.

"Don't sing that song! Please!"

Spain smiled warmly. "Only if you'll dance! I hear you're an amazing tap dancer!"

Austria stood, before helping Spain to his feet.

"No. I refuse."

"Pleeeeeease?" Spain begged. When Austria continued to ignore him, Spain put forth, "If you don't dance even a little, I will continue singing..."

Austria sighed. "Fine. What do you want me to do."

"What the boy did on that creepy demon-y show Japan made. Please?"

Austria sighed heavily, before going up on his toes, and hopping around his Spanish lover. After a few flamboyant gestures, he clapped twice.

"OLÉ!"

**_A/N Well, this one was longer XD_**

**_Cookies to whoever got that last reference XD Stupid fandoms keep a-drawing me in! Too awesome..._**

**_Please review!_**


	13. SpainEstonia

_Dear Spain,_

_Hello, this is Estonia. I have a rather embarrassing favor to ask of you... _

_It is said that—of all the Nations—you are one of the ones that likes to dance the most. _

_You see, there is this party coming up...would you like to be my dance partner?_

_Also, if you don't say yes, I may send my dear friend Russia to your house for his "summer vacation". _

_Yours truly,_

_Estonia_

...A Few Days Later...

"Thank you for coming with me, Spain," Estonia said, as he and Spain walked to the party.

Spain smiled widely, "It's not as if I could say no!"

When they arrived at the square, Spain's eyes widened at all the colorful outfits people were wearing.

"Come, let's get in the circle."

Soon, the happy and fast music began, and Spain and Estonia danced their hearts out.

...Several Dances Later...

Spain and Estonia sat by each other, smiling widely.

"Well that was fun. Who knew a boring Nation like you could have so much fun?!" Spain exclaimed, beaming.

Estonia raised an eyebrow. "That was rather blunt."

**_A/N I don't know why. Honestly. _**

**_Estonia folk dances start out in a circle, typically. YOUTUBE IT!_**

**_Also, Spain and Estonia are both rather blunt, aren't they? XD_**

**_Also, thank you to all my lovely reviewers! You guys totes make my day!_**

**_Please review!_**


	14. EstoniaLithuania

"Hey! Estonia!" Lithuania shouted happily. Estonia sighed heavily, setting down his book, "Kevade".

"Yes Lithuania?"

"Do you want to play? I've been cleaning all day, and need a break!"

"Well," Estonia muttered, picking his book back up, "I don't procrastinate."

Lithuania sighed, before smiling fondly. "Silly Estonia."

"I don't do 'silly'."

Lithuania smiled, undaunted. "Come on, Esty! Let's play a game!"

"You sound like Latvia. No."

"Come on!" Lithuania begged.

"Not going to happen. I'm reading."

Lithuania sighed—seemingly in defeat—before smirking.

"...It's basketball."

That caused Estonia to freeze. "...You're serious?"

"As serious as a blue time-traveling phone booth."

"That's legit."

"Certainly."

"Then let's see what you got, Lithuanian."

"Right back at you, Estonian."

**_A/N Well. Ok. _**

**_Fun fact: Basketball is the most popular sport in both Lithuania and Estonia. _**

**_Fun fact: Kevade is the second most popular Estonian book! Why did I put the second most popular? Easier to spell!_**

**_Fun fact: The "I don't do silly" is a reference, though I don't remember what from!_**

**_Terrifying fact: I start drivers ed next week!_**

**_Awesome fact: I start my job at the library next week!_**

**_Plea: Please review!_**


	15. LithuaniaLatvia

Latvia was sitting at the World Conference table pouting. Lithuania walked up to him.

"What's wrong my main Latvian?" Lithuania smiled cheerfully, though he knew it was in vain; Latvia never got anyone's jokes.

He was right. "Your main Latvian? Do you have other Latvians?" The younger Nation looked like he was about to cry.

"No, no!" Lithuania sighed. "I was joking around."

"Oh."

"...Hey Latvia...Why don't you get any of the other Nations' jokes?"

The smaller Nation blushed. "I-I don't know. I-I guess they don't make any sense to me..."

"But why?" Lithuania was confused. Usually most of the Nations understood each others jokes for the most part.

"Well...you see..." Latvia flung his hands up in the air melodramatically. "ALL MINE ARE ABOUT POTATOES!"

Lithuania gasped in horror. "Potatoes!"

"Potatoes." Latvia affirmed.

"POTATOES!" Germany shouted.

"..."

"Why potatoes?" Lithuania asked.

"Potatoes are good." Latvia said, nodding solemnly.

"Yes I suppose they are."

"..."

"I have a rather large potato."

Lithuania looked intrigued. "Can I see it?"

"Only if you come over to my house. THEN you can eat it."

"Sounds like a plan."

**_A/N ~Shudders~_**

**_I googled Latvian jokes. They are seriously ALL potato-related. =_=_**

**_Please review?_**


	16. LatviaEngland

England had left a bit late from the World Conference, so he was feeling quite warn down. Therefore, he had headed to a nearby bar.

When he entered, however, he was shocked to see Latvia sitting at the bar.

"Oi, Latvia. Aren't you a bit young to be drinking?"

"I'm a *hic* Nation! I can do *hic* whatever I bloody well *hic* please!"

England smiled, sitting beside him. "What are you drinking?"

"Not Vodka! France's disgusting wiiiiiine!"

"Why not?"

"That's all Rus*hic*sia had at his *hic* house. Vodka *hic* vodka *hic* vodka." Latvia slammed his head onto the bar.

"Is he alright?" asked the bartender.

"Ah, yes. He just needs something good to drink. Do you have guinness?"

The bartender grimaced, before sliding the aforementioned drink to the man.

"Here Latvia. This is good."

Latvia tried downing the surup-thick beer, before sputtering. "That's horrible! You drink that?"

England looked shocked. "Of course!"

The bartender looked amused. He poured a couple glasses of Jack's, sliding them.

"There you be. America's best!"

England took a sip, his eyes widening. Latvia—however—tried his 'downing method' again.

This time, the smaller Nation collapsed on the floor clutching his throat. "IT BUUUUURNS!"

"What the bloody hell were you trying to do?! Poison us?!" England yelped, clutching his own burning throat.

The bartender started sweating. "Uh...try this!"

"A Strawberry Daiquiri? Kid stuff. And no Screwdrivers, either!"

Latvia stood beside England, glaring. "Something not vodka, not guinness, not whiskey, and not girly!"

"Beer then?"

"Beer as in Alfred's Ultra, or whatnot? His 'hard lemonade'?" England's nose scrunched.

"No...this is actually...good..."

Latvia and England glanced at each other.

"Fine."

...Several Drinks Later...

"Wha' waz tha' bloody dr!nk 'gain?" England asked, leaning on Latvia.

"Gold'n somethin'."

They looked at each other. Then laughed.

"I lik' a bitta' gold!"

"Meeee tooooo!"

**_A/N So...alcohol. _**

**_Tried all of those drinks. Not that I'm fifteen or anything..._**

**_Ahem. _**

**_Anyway, I discovered that I hate alcohol. Tried all of that crap. Liked Vodka best (though still not much. The Screwdriver tasted best.)_**

**_Well, the drink they liked was Miccalo (butchered spelling) Golden Light, I believe. Idk. It's not sold in my state, and whatevs. _**

**_Well...please review?_**


	17. EnglandChina

England knew he shouldn't be embarrassed to be seen like this, but...he was a grown man.

The green-eyed Nation didn't look how he normally did...at all. His messy blond hair was now messy black hair, and his bright eyes were hidden beneath large round glasses. He was wearing long black robes with red hemming. There was also a strange scar on his forehead.

England loved to cosplay. That's all there was to it.

He had traveled all the way to Anime-con, very excited to show off his pure-geekiness...only to realize China was there as well.

Granted...China didn't look like China...he looked like...

England's eyes widened, as he walked over to the uber-short Nation.

China's hair was done up in a curly reddish-brown wig. He was wearing a green vest over a white blouse, and brown capri-looking pants. And he was barefoot. An his feet...were enlarged and hairy.

"...China?"

The Asian Nation jumped, and (blushing) turned to face England.

"Are you..."

China smiled. "Bilbo Baggins, at your service."

England internally fan-girled, before hugging the Hobbit.

"Do you want to have dinner?"

"I'm a Hobbit. We have multiple dinners."

As they were walking away, China asked the number one question:

"If your Dumbledore and my Gandalf were to get in a fight, who would win?"

"Oh," England waved his hand. "That's easy. Obviously the winner would be-"

**_A/N INTERRUPTING COW! MOO!_**

**_Heh, heh..._**

**_I will so get yelled at for that. _**

**_Maybe. _**

**_If someone would REVIEW!_**

**_Come on, I made England a fan-girl for you guys! _**

**_So REVIEW! Please!_**


	18. ChinaRussia

China was very tired. Japan had called him up, saying he wanted to reconcile with him, and that he wanted his big brother back.

Naturally, China ran as fast as he could to Japan's house.

He arrived there 15 hours later, but Japan was still in a pretty amiable mood.

They talked and laughed and cried, before drinking a lot (a LOT) of Shōchū.

Finally, he was returning home.

However, he noticed something...off...

When he entered, he saw Panda. Just sitting there. Begging to be cuddled.

Naturally, China obliged.

"Oh Panda! I'm so happy aru! Japan-kun and I are brothers again aru!"

"Congratulations, China! This makes you happy, so it makes me happy, da?" Panda said.

Only it wasn't Panda.

"RUSSIA ARU! WHY ARE YOU IN MY PANDA ARU?!" China exclaimed.

Panda pulled off his head, revealing Russia's head. "I came to see you. But you weren't here. So I had to climb in Panda, da?"

China scowled. "That makes no sense aru!"

"Da it does! I was hoping to climb in yo-"

"DON'T FINISH THAT STATEMENT ARU! THIS IS RATED T NOT M!"

"Fine. But we can still cuddle, da?"

China sighed. "Only if you get out of Panda aru."

"..."

"What's wrong aru?"

"I'm not wearing anything besides Panda..."

China looked surprised, before he smiled.

"That makes it better, aru!"

**_A/N RoChu. Bleah. _**

**_I am aware of the fact that I over-exaggerated their verbal ticks. Reading through this just made me develop a bad twitch. _**

**_No one has been reviewing for a while. I will finish this either way, but reviews get faster updates!_**

**_Thats to all you anonymous readers. :P_**

**_Guests CAN review! When I was just a guest, no one told me that... =_=_**

**_Well um... Review?_**


	19. RussiaItaly

Russia stretched out on a chair by the pool of his hotel. He had snuck into Florence about a week ago (since Romono had filed a restraining order, he wasn't able to go to Rome. AND HE HAD WANTED TO CHECK OUT THOSE OLD VITAL REGIONS), and was enjoying the hot summer temperatures.

"Ve~! Russia!" Italy waved, suddenly appearing as only Italy could. "Whatcha doing here?"

"Oh, hi Italy," Russia greeted. "I am just taking a vacation, da?"

"Cool! But...why are you still wearing your scarf?"

Russia truly looked odd, since he was still wearing his scarf...with his pink swim-trunks.

The larger Nation blushed, whispering something into the scarf.

"Huh? What'd you say?"

Russia sighed heavily. "If I take my scarf off, I will catch a cold!"

Italy looked confused. "That doesn't make any sense, ve~!"

Russia bowed his head, sighing. "That's what everyone tells me."

Italy frowned sadly, before he lit up: He had an idea.

"How about I keep you warm." Italy wiggled his eyebrows.

"Da!"

And Russia carried Italy on his shoulders all day.

**_A/N Russia and Italy. Hmm. Well, I love them!_**

**_In Russia's character song, he says the reason he feels uncomfortable without his scarf, is that he thinks he'll catch a cold. _**

**_..._**

**_DAW! ^J^ Oh, my Russia is soooo adorable!_**

**_Anyway, please review!_**


	20. ItalyBelarus

Belarus made sure her sunglasses and floppy sunhat were shielding her face, before daring to look up.

According to the other Nations that had visited Florence, Grom was the best Gelato place around.

She sighed. No one knew her TRUE guilty pleasure (the one besides watching America's Disney movies).

Belarus, you see, had a gelato obsession. She had tried every flavor there was (everything from mango to triple chocolate, from coffee to rasberry, and from mint to pistachio), but she had yet to happen upon the PERFECT gelato.

When she entered the shop, she gasped in shock.

Italy was working there.

And he saw right through her disguise.

"B-Belarus ve~? What are you doing her?"

She acted calm, as she took off the disguise. "Well, I'm in Italy, da? Did you expect me not to sample gelato?"

Italy beamed. "No way! My gelato is irresistible!"

He quickly picked up a little cup and ice cream scoop. "I recommend our stracciatella!"

Italy slowly and deliberately scooped it out of it's container.

"First, we make the ice cream. It's churned...very...slowly, to make it creamy and smooth..." Belarus's eyes glazed. "Then we pour in the thick melted chocolate..." Some saliva dripped from her mouth. "Then we freeze it out, so the chocolate gets really hard, but the gelato remains soft..." Belarus was nearly clinging to the counter.

"I looooove gelato," Italy smiled. Suddenly, he brought the scoop up to his mouth, licking off the excess ice cream. "Licking off the extra is always the best part."

...One Nosebleed Later...

"Are you sure you're OK, ve~?" Italy asked a sitting Belarus who was holding a napkin to her nose.

"Da..." She still hadn't got her gelato.

Italy suddenly smiled. "Hey! Why don't you come over to my house? I will teach you how to make gelato..."

"That...that would be fantastic."

**_A/N ..._**

**_Who knew I could write one hell of a sexy ice cream scene?! XD_**

**_Grom is an actual gelato place. I had to wait 20 minutes in line, though. =_=_**

**_Wellllll...please review!_**


	21. BelarusRomono

Romono smiled up at the lemon trees, and the football sized lemons that accompanied them. Earlier that day, he had taken a boat from Sorrento to the island of Capri—he loved shopping there.

Suddenly, he glimpsed a familiar face—not a welcome face exactly (because she is TERRIFYING) but hey! She was a girl and a hot one at that.

"Belarus! What the hell are you doing here?!" he exclaimed.

Belarus glared. "Why don't you be as nice as the other men around here."

Romono sighed heavily. "Fine. Ciao bella! Welcome to Capri! Beautiful weather we're having!"

Belarus smirked. "That's more like it."

"Whatever. So what ARE you doing here."

"Shoe shopping. I only have boots, and I was planning on heading down South for a while. And...I hear that this junky little island is famous for their custom-made sandals."

"CAPRI ISN'T JUNKY! IT IS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PLACES IN MY ENTIRE COUNTRY!" Romono yelled, stomping his foot. Belarus rolled her eyes.

"At least it doesn't have those creepers around saying that they'll 'give me good price'."

Romono was annoyed by Belarus's attitude. Suddenly, he had an idea.

"Hey Belarus. There's a really great sandal shop up the mountain in Anacapri. Want me to take you up there."

Belarus sighed. "Fine."

Romono climbed onto his red, white, and green motorcycle, pulling the girl on behind him.

"OK, there is one route up and down the mountain. It's called the Mama Mia road. I suggest you hold on."

And typical to an Italian motorcyclist, he chugged ahead at full speed weaving in between cars.

...One Terrifying Ride Later...

Belarus jumped off the motorcycle once they had reached the top, kissing the ground.

"I hate you Romono!"

Romono felt slightly guilty. He offered the Belarusian his hand, and she accepted.

"I'm sorry, you were just annoying me, you girl."

Belarus rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

Romono grabbed her hand. "Hey. Do you like lemons?"

"Oh yes. Indeed I do."

"Then...perhaps we can read some while we eat some. My place?"

"Da!"

**_A/N ..._**

**_I liked my Sexy Ice Cream Scene better. XD_**

**_All places mentioned exist. And so does the Mama Mia road. ~shudders~_**

**_Anyway, please review!_**


	22. RomonoGermany

"Potato bastard!"

"Tomato idiot."

Germany and Romono glared at each other. For some reason, they had both felt the need to sign up for the same cooking class. And of course, they had to be paired together.

That week's assignment was for them to combine their strengths to create the perfect dish.

Unfortunately, they worked as well together as Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader.

"How the hell are we supposed to combine our strengths when you have none?!" Romono exclaimed.

Germany glared at him briefly, before sighing. They HAD to figure this out.

"Perhaps...we should combine our favorite foods-"

"I have an idea! We should combine our favorite foods!" Romono smirked. "I'm a genius."

...One Cooking Sequence Later...

"Well?" the cooking instructor asked. "What did you two make."

"Roasted potatoes with tomatoes, garlic, and basil," Germany said. He WAS the one to come up with the recipe.

"It looks good! 'A' for the day."

Romono smiled charmingly, until she disappeared. "Biotch."

"What's wrong with you now?"

"She said 'for the day'. We have to cook together more."

"I think it went well."

"You would. My stupid little brother is getting to you."

"I haven't been talking to him..." Germany looked rather embarrased.

"Why not?"

"...Well...he wanted to put his pasta in my potatoes, but he wouldn't let me put my wurst in his pizza."

"Well, he has very specific tastes."

"...What about you and Spain?"

"Nope. He tried to make me change my 'ciao' to his stupid 'ola'. Bastard."

"..."

"..."

"Rebound sex?"

"After we eat."

**_A/N =_=_**

**_Mein Gott. _**

**_*gags*_**

**_Right. Well. Please review. _**


	23. GermanyJapan

Germany glared down at the papers in front of him.

"Honestly. Stupid Italian," he muttered, throwing the papers aside.

"Mr. Germany? What is wrong?" Japan asked, appearing.

Germany thrust the papers towards Japan. "Italy has decided he wants us to dance."

Random purple lines ran down Japan's face. "Mr. Italy wants us to dance? What type of dancing?"

"Not Bon Dancing," Germany growled.

On the papers was a complicated sequence of dance moves that were—frankly—the dorkiest moves they had ever seen.

Japan brushed the lines off his face. "But that's the only dancing I can do!"

"Didn't you dance with Switzerland?"

"HE WAS LEADING!"

"Alright, fine." Germany rubbed his forehead, ridding himself of the angry circle of semi-circles. "But what are we supposed to do?"

Japan frowned, before his lifeless eyes remained lifeless, and he stated he had an idea.

"I have an idea."

"What?"

"We just let Mr. Italy jump around and we just sway in the back."

"Good idea. But what about when we join hands?"

"...If it is alright, I request that I join hands with you."

"Ja, it is fine. As long as I am on the end."

"Good." Japan looked the same as always, but he said he was relieved.

"I'm relieved."

There was a pause that was sort of awkward, but Germany and Japan were always awkward.

"I like your hands. They're very small and soft."

"And I feel no emotion towards your hands, but they are muscular."

"..."

"..."

"Want to practice our dance at my house?"

"I don't want anything, but that is acceptable."

**_A/N Japan is such a pain. XD COMMIT YOU PERSON YOU!_**

**_*ATTACK OF THE RANDOM PURPLE LINES*_**

**_...Alright. Please review. XD_**


	24. JapanCanada

It was a known fact amongst the Nations that certain parts of their bodies represented different areas of their country.

Japan was sitting beside Canada at the World Conference. Both of them—due to their quietness—were being ignored, so Japan started talking to Canada.

"Hello Mr. Canada. How are you today?"

"Oh, I'm fine. How are you?" Canada asked.

"I am physically fine, but truthfully indifferent to everything else."

Canada flushed, ducking his head. "O-oh alright..."

"Mr. Canada? May I ask you something?"

"Uh sure..."

"What do your body parts stand for?"

"W-What?! Why are you asking that?!" Canada stuttered.

"I am merely curious."

"Oh, well...what parts do you want to know about?"

"Hmm. What does your right knee stand for?"

"Knee Lake."

"Really? What about your mouth?"

Canada blushed. "Ha! Ha!, Baie des..."

"Honestly? Your country has weird names." Canada blushed deeper.

Japan pointed to Canada's crotch. "What about there?"

Canada covered his face with his hands. "Dildo."

"WHAT?! You have a place called that?" Canada nodded. "So vulgar..."

Trying to change the subject, Canada pointed to his heart. "Do you know what place this is?" Japan shook his head.

"Japantown."

"..."

"..."

"Do you think we can change Dildo to Japancity?"

"It is possible in the near future."

**_A/N All places in Canada do exist. XD_**

**_Seriously, there are some jacked up names there. As bad as F****** Austria. XD_**

**_Please review!_**


	25. THE HETALIAN BELT

Hey, hey Papa!

Give me designs!

Hey, hey Mama!

Hey, hey Mama!

The metal that I was made from,

I cannot forget the weight!

Draw a square, that's the Buckle!

Draw a square, that's the Buckle!

Draw a square, that's the Buckle!

I am the Hetalian Belt!

Draw a square, that's the Buckle

Look closely, that's the Buckle

Might that be the Buckle?

I am the Hetalian Belt!

Ah, with the single swipe of a paintbrush, wonderful words can be seen!

With our belts, let's snap 'em on! Hetalian Belt!

Ah, I'm bored. I want to paint the belt!

Draw a square, that's the Buckle!

Draw a square, that's the Buckle!

Draw a square, that's the Buckle!

I am the Hetalian Belt!

Draw a square, that's the Buckle!

Start with clasping the Buckle

rather than step on the Buckle!

I am the Hetalian Belt!

Oh designs, with a single stroke, I shed threads of joy!

The buckle of dreams is fully clasping! Hetalian Belt!

Hey, hey Painter! Paint me pretty!

By the way, make them Nations!

Hey, hey Author, pair them nice!

Hi, hi Buyer, (For you, for you!)

Guigui, Wearer, buckle me up!

Hey, hey Mama!

Hey, hey Mama!

The metal I was made from,

I cannot forget the weight!

Hetalian! Hetalian!

Hetalian Belt!

Draw a square, that's the Buckle!

Draw a square, that's the Buckle!

Draw a square, that's the Buckle!

I am the Hetalian Belt!

Ah, with the single swipe of a paintbrush, wonderful designs can be seen!

With our belts, let's buckle up! Hetalian Belt!

Ah, in this sleepy world is a design for happiness!

With our belts, let's buckle up! Hetalian Belt!

**_A/N _**

**_THE END! XD_**

**_I hope u all enjoyed this! _**

**_Please review, dearies!_**


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